The Top Albums from A to Z

My wife is a coolfind buzzkill. For a couple weeks before the release of Vampire Weekend's debut album, it was highly anticipated by the half of the Lauve household that tries to be on the front edge of the indie scene. When the album came out, it was great---it will take an absolute masterpiece to unseat it as the best album of 2008---and it was like my little discovery. Until Brandi one day said, "You know that Vampire Weekend album is really hot right now." I looked it up, and sure enough, it was #2 on both Amazon and iTunes. So maybe it wasn't the undiscovered gem I thought it was. But it is, in my opinion, the greatest "V" album of all time, not there is much competition for that title (unless you're a Velvet Underground fan). Which got me to thinking about the greatest albums beginning with the other 25 letters. So here are my top albums from A to Z:

Abbey Road (The Beatles)
Rolling Stone naming this album the 14th greatest of all time is like Sports Illustrated naming Michael Jordan the 14th greatest athlete. Or like TV Guide naming Johnny Carson the 14th greatest talk show host of all time. Or like Cigar Aficionado naming Cuba the 14th greatest cigar-producing nation of all time.
Bookends (Simon & Garfunkel)
"A light and tumble journey from the East Side to the park"..."counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike"..."hear the Salvation Army band"...It always amazes me how Mr. Simon puts together these seemingly effortless and uniquely American images that just sort of spill together. There are two Simon lyrics from his solo career, "she makes the sign of a teaspoon, he makes the sign of a wave" and "I'm gonna stand guard like a postcard of a Golden Retriever," that sounded oddly appropriate even though I have no idea what they mean. I think those kind of lyrics have their root in "At the Zoo," which really doesn't get enough credit as a truly inventive song.
Catalogue of Generous Men (Modern Skirts)
Greatest debut album ever? The songwriting and harmonies are something to behold on this record, and they're even better in person.
Dark Side of the Moon (Pink Floyd)
I've tried all 26 of these albums as the soundtrack to The Wizard of Oz, and this is the only one that makes a lick of sense.
Eldorado (Electric Light Orchestra)
This one was a little impenetrable for me at first, but now I absolutely love it. I even listen to it at the gym. I bet I'm the only one.
Flood (They Might Be Giants)
A perfect combination of the out-of-left-field, Dial-A-Song quality of their early albums and the musical maturity and increasingly varied arrangements of their later stuff.
Green (R.E.M.)
This album got me thinking about direction in a way I hadn't before. Wonder why.
Her Majesty the Decemberists (The Decemberists)
This might not even be the best Decemberists album, but I'm giving it the nod over Help!, A Hard Day's Night, and the Bees' High Society as the best "H" album. Of course, any Decemberists album is like a combination of David Copperfield and Hot Words for the SAT.
Illinois (Sufjan Stevens)
This one really blew me away. I picked it up after Paste magazine called it the best album of 2005 (as many others did), and after listening to it I think it might be the best album of the last 20 years. Sufjan put an unbelievable amount of time into researching Illinois history and crafting some amazing arrangements, and it shows.
John Henry (They Might Be Giants)
The Johns finally show what they can do with a full band.
Keep Your Wig On (Fastball)
Not a hit to be found, but this is far and away their best album from beginning to end.
Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs (Derek and the Dominos)
Personally, I think "Layla" is the 4th or 5th best song on the record.
Magical Mystery Tour (The Beatles)
First Beatles album I ever owned, though it isn't really an album in the strictest sense. Still a great collection of incredible songs from the lads at their peak.
Not the Tremblin’ Kind (Laura Cantrell)
I fell in love with Laura Cantrell way before I even knew what alt country was.
Odessey and Oracle (The Zombies)
It's easy to look at the track listing and stop at "Time of the Season," as I did for a long time, but this is one of the great psychedelic albums of the 60s. The first time I heard "This Will Be Our Year," which was only a couple months ago, I thought, "How on earth have I never heard this before?"
Paul Simon (Paul Simon)
Stands beside McCartney and All Things Must Pass (both released two years earlier) as evidence that sometimes maybe it's just time for people to go their separate ways.
A Quick One (The Who)
Edges out Quadrophenia. Not a lot of "Q" albums to choose from, but for some reason the best ones are from The Who.
Rubber Soul (The Beatles)
Yes, I realize that Revolver also begins with an R. But this one has always been a half notch ahead for me.
Songs We Sing (Matt Costa)
This album is the result of the most serendipitous skateboarding accident in human history.
Tommy (The Who)
Easily a top five album in rock history, maybe the best ever. Whoever says that the Rolling Stones were the greatest contemporaries of the Beatles wasn't paying attention.
Undiscovered (James Morrison)
The 1995 me is angry with the 2008 me right now for not picking Under the Table and Dreaming, but this is such a great album. Just one song, "You Give Me Something," got any American radio play, but it's remarkable all the way through.
Vampire Weekend (Vampire Weekend)
What a unique sound---I hope their ability to make interesting music is a sign of things to come.
The Who Sell Out (The Who)
The fact that The Who released, within the space of two years (and consecutively), the greatest concept album (I'm not counting Sgt. Pepper's as a concept album) and the greatest rock opera ever never fails to blow my mind. This record is woefully underrated.
X&Y (Coldplay)
Needed something for "X." This is actually a surprisingly strong choice.
Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (Wilco) I'm not sure if this is my favorite Wilco album, but it definitely is one of the most consistently good all the way through.
Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, The Rise and Fall of (David Bowie)
A little bit of a cheat, but the selection for "Z" is really thin. This one doesn't have very many of my favorite Bowie songs, but I suppose it will have to do. Not a big Zooropa or My Morning Jacket fan.

Favorite Songs: 1957-2007

For those fans of the old SportsHistory blog who have been disappointed with the dearth of rankings on the new blog, this one's for you. It was actually a fun little trip through rock and roll history. It also serves as a demonstration of my inability to follow my own directions, as I had intended to highlight just one song per year but failed miserably in some cases. It ended up being ridiculous to pick just one favorite for certain years, so in the case of a tie, I listed two or more songs.

1957: Everyday (Buddy Holly)
1958: Oh Boy! (Buddy Holly)
1959: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes (The Platters)
1960: Walk Don't Run (The Ventures)
1961: Mack the Knife (Bobby Darin)
1962: Telstar (The Tornadoes)
1963: She Loves You (The Beatles)
1964: It Ain't Me Babe (Bob Dylan)
        A Summer Song (Chad & Jeremy)
1965: Eve of Destruction (Barry McGuire)
        Like a Rolling Stone (Bob Dylan)
        We Can Work It Out (The Beatles)
1966: Paperback Writer (The Beatles)
        Eight Miles High (The Byrds)
1967: New York Mining Disaster 1941 (Bee Gees)
        On a Carousel (The Hollies)
1968: Hey Bulldog (The Beatles)
1969: Here Comes the Sun (The Beatles)
        Sally Simpson (The Who)
1970: Apple Scruffs (George Harrison)
1971: I've Seen All Good People/Your Move (Yes)
1972: Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard (Paul Simon)
1973: Give Me Love (Give Me Peace on Earth) (George Harrison)
1974: Nothing from Nothing (Billy Preston)
1975: Why Can't We Be Friends? (War)
1976: Livin' Thing (Electric Light Orchestra)
1977: Mr. Blue Sky (Electric Light Orchestra)
1978: Right Down the Line (Gerry Rafferty)
1979: On the Run (Electric Light Orchestra)
1980: Video Killed the Radio Star (The Buggles)
1981: Tempted (Squeeze)
1982: Steppin' Out (Joe Jackson)
1983: Everyday I Write the Book (Elvis Costello & The Attractions)
1984: So. Central Rain (R.E.M.)
1985: Take on Me (a-ha)
1986: She's an Angel (They Might Be Giants)
1987: It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine) (R.E.M.)
1988: Heading for the Light (Traveling Wilburys)
1989: Veronica (Elvis Costello)
1990: Birdhouse in Your Soul (They Might Be Giants)
1991: The Other Side of Summer (Elvis Costello)
1992: Allison Road (Gin Blossoms)
        Dinner Bell (They Might Be Giants)
1993: Afternoons and Coffeespoons (Crash Test Dummies)
1994: Down with Disease (Phish)
        Destination Moon (They Might Be Giants)
1995: Underground (Ben Folds Five)
        Blue (The Jayhawks)
1996: Unsupervised, I Hit My Head (Mono Puff)
        So Fast, So Numb (R.E.M.)
1997: Seems So (Apples in Stereo)
1998: Out of My Head (Fastball)
1999: Maine (John Linnell)
2000: Churches off the Intestate (Laura Cantrell)
2001: August (Rilo Kiley)
2002: July, July! (The Decemberists)
        The Future That Was (Josh Joplin Group)
2003: Go On (The Elected)
        Saint Simon (The Shins)
2004: Living Life (Ben Kweller)
        Broke in Two (They Might Be Giants)
2005: First Day of My Life (Bright Eyes)
        Sixteen Military Wives (The Decemberists)
        My Lost Soprano (Modern Skirts)
        Story (The Rocket Summer)
        Come On! Feel the Illinoise! (Sufjan Stevens)
2006: One Crowded Hour (Augie March)
        Imaginary Girl (The Bees)
        Fireflies in a Steel Mill (The Elected)
        Astair (Matt Costa)
2007: A Million Fireflies (The Midway State)
        Australia (The Shins)

The Top 10 Funniest Television Comedy Episodes of All Time

1. Missouri Mish Mash (Rocky & Bullwinkle)
2. Pier Pressure (Arrested Development)
3. Homer's Enemy (The Simpsons)
4. The Doll (Curb Your Enthusiasm)
5. The Client (The Office)
6. The Fusilli Jerry (Seinfeld)
7. Aboard the Orient Express (Get Smart)
8. Theo's Holiday (The Cosby Show)
9. Episode Eighteen (Monty Python's Flying Circus)
10. Mother's Last Visit (Diff'rent Strokes)

The Top 22 Songs from 1 to 21 of All Time

1. One Tin Soldier (Coven)
2. Two of Us (The Beatles)
3. Three Hopeful Thoughts (Rilo Kiley)
4. Four of Two (They Might Be Giants)
5. Five O'Clock World (The Vogues)
6. Six O'Clock News (Kathleen Edwards)
7. Seven Nation Army (The White Stripes)
8. Eight Miles High (The Byrds)
9. (tie) 96 Tears (? and the Mysterians)
9. (tie) 98.6 (Keith)
10. Ten Days (Missy Higgins)
11. 11 Easy Steps (Troutfishing in America)
12. 12 Bellevue (Kathleen Edwards)
13. 13 Steps Lead Down (Elvis Costello)
14. 14th Street (Laura Cantrell)
15. Fifteen Again (The Luxury Liners)
16. 16 Military Wives (The Decemberists)
17. Seventeen Dirty Magazines (Modern Skirts)
18. Eighteen (Alice Cooper)
19. 1921 (The Who)
20. 20 Questions (Amy Rigby)
21. 21st Century Man (Electric Light Orchestra)

The Top 50 States with the Strongest Personality

1. Texas
2. California
3. Florida
4. Hawaii
5. Alaska
6. Massachusetts
7. New York
8. Colorado
9. Louisiana
10. Virginia
11. Arizona
12. North Carolina
13. Vermont
14. Tennessee
15. Oregon
16. Utah
17. Indiana
18. Georgia
19. Connecticut
20. Kansas
21. Oklahoma
22. Missouri
23. New Jersey
24. Mississippi
25. Iowa
26. Pennsylvania
27. Montana
28. Nebraska
29. Wisconsin
30. New Mexico
31. Michigan
32. South Carolina
33. Wyoming
34. Minnesota
35. Idaho
36. Illinois
37. Alabama
38. Maryland
39. Arkansas
40. Maine
41. New Hampshire
42. Washington
43. Kentucky
44. Nevada
45. Rhode Island
46. Ohio
47. West Virginia
48. South Dakota
49. Delaware
50. North Dakota

The Top 100 They Might Be Giants Songs of All Time

This list is aimed at the overlap between possibly the two smallest groups in the universe: people who can reocgnize a hundred They Might Be Giants songs and people who read my blog.

1. She’s an Angel
2. Destination Moon
3. Dinner Bell
4. Stalk of Wheat
5. Renew My Subscription
6. Finished With Lies (Mink Car version)
7. Birdhouse in Your Soul
8. Doctor Worm
9. 4 of 2
10. Broke in Two
11. Rhythm Section Want Ad
12. We’ve Got a World That Swings
13. Sensurround
14. Ana Ng
15. The House at the Top of the Tree
16. Mammal
17. Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal
18. Bangs
19. My Man
20. Reprehensible
21. Letterbox
22. Experimental Film
23. Asheville (The Orange Peel)
24. Dead
25. She was a Hotel Detective (Back to Skull)
26. Cyclops Rock
27. London (The Astoria)
28. Don’t Let’s Start
29. The Statue Got Me High
30. I Palindrome I
31. Welcome to the Jungle
32. Man, It’s So Loud in Here
33. Hollywood (West Hollywood House of Blues)
34. Flying V
35. Purple Toupee
36. No!
37. Where Your Eyes Don’t Go
38. Spine
39. Thunderbird
40. We Want a Rock
41. Finished With Lies (Live version)
42. Where Do They Make Balloons?
43. Hovering Sombrero
44. Monsters of Mud
45. Sleeping in the Flowers
46. Spiraling Shape
47. Bastard Wants to Hit Me
48. Another First Kiss
49. Sleepwalkers
50. Charleston (The Music Farm)
51. Till My Head Falls Off
52. Fun Assassin
53. Someone Keeps Moving My Chair
54. Memo to Human Resources
55. Fingertips
56. Lullaby to Nightmares
57. Metal Detector
58. Au Contraire
59. Austin (Stubb’s)
60. Feast of Lights
61. No One Knows My Plan
62. Towson (Recher Theatre)
63. My Evil Twin
64. D&W
65. It’s Not My Birthday
66. Damn Good Times
67. I Should Be Allowed to Think
68. They’ll Need a Crane
69. First Kiss
70. Subliminal
71. Drinking
72. Impossible
73. Rest Awhile
74. Why Does the Sun Shine? (The Sun is a Mass of Incandescent Gas) (Live version)
75. No Answer
76. Out of Jail
77. Museum of Idiots
78. We’re the Replacements
79. Meet James Ensor
80. Love is Eternity
81. Ant
82. Can You Find It?
83. Operators are Standing By
84. They Got Lost
85. All Alone
86. Nightgown of the Sullen Moon
87. Stormy Pinkness
88. Save Your Life
89. I am a Human Head
90. Am I Awake
91. Certain People I Could Name
92. New Haven (Toad’s Place)
93. On the Drag
94. Counterfeit Faker
95. Different Town
96. Your Racist Friend
97. The World’s Address
98. Columbia, SC (The Blue Note)
99. Courage the Cowardly Dog
100. Pittsburgh (Mr. Small’s Theatre)

The Top 50 Positions in Team Sports

1. Small forward (basketball)
2. Shortstop (baseball)
3. Center fielder (baseball)
4. Middle linebacker (football)
5. Shooting guard (basketball)
6. Quarterback (football)
7. Midfielder (soccer)
8. Point guard (basketball)
9. Left fielder (baseball)
10. Right wing (hockey)
11. Third baseman (baseball)
12. Goalie (soccer)
13. Free safety (football)
14. Starting pitcher (baseball)
15. Second baseman (baseball)
16. Outside linebacker (football)
17. Running back (football)
18. Kick/punt returner (football)
19. Power forward (basketball)
20. Tight end (football)
21. Center (hockey)
22. Center (basketball)
23. Fullback (football)
24. Right fielder (baseball)
25. Left wing (hockey)
26. Strong safety (football)
27. Wide receiver (football)
28. Defenseman (soccer)
29. Wedge breaker (football)
30. First baseman (baseball)
31. Defensive end (football)
32. Pinch hitter (baseball)
33. Defenseman (hockey)
34. Forward (soccer)
35. Pinch runner (baseball)
36. Closer (baseball)
37. Cornerback (football)
38. Defensive tackle (football)
39. Designated hitter (baseball)
40. Place kicker (football)
41. Middle reliever (baseball)
42. Goalie (hockey)
43. Offensive guard (football)
44. Punter (football)
45. Offensive tackle (football)
46. Long snapper (football)
47. Holder (football)
48. Goon (hockey)
49. Catcher (baseball)
50. Center (football)


Note: I've mixed some "behavioral" positions in with the regular ones where appropriate. You won't find "goon" or even "pinch runner" on a depth chart, but there are certain roles that need to be considered don't fit nicely into any one position.

The Top 35 BBQ Joints I’ve Eaten At

I realize that I'm missing some of the big spots like Rendezvous, but this still seems like a pretty good list. Where applicable, I've indicated some of what makes the place stand out.

1. John Mueller’s/JMueller (Austin, Texas) (I've been to both incarnations of this one, the building on Manor and the trailer on South First, which miraculously appeared six years after the brick-and-mortar restaurant vanished.)
2. Franklin (Austin, Texas) (It truly is the best brisket you'll ever have, but don't sleep on the pulled pork.)

3. Salt Lick (Driftwood, Texas) (bonus points for being the only place I've had my picture taken with Bevo, and for the family style all-you-can-eat dinner)
4. Rudy’s (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the creamed corn)
5. (tie) Corky’s (Memphis, Tennessee) (bonus points for best pork shoulder)
Arthur Bryant's (Kansas City, Kansas) (bonus points for the best sandwich and the most succinct ordering)
7. Sonny Bryan’s (Dallas, Texas) (bonus points for the school desks and best onion rings)
8. Meyer’s (Elgin, Texas) (bonus points for being halfway between Aggie football and Longhorn football, and for the best sausage)
9. Opie's (Spicewood, Texas)
10. Stubb’s (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the music)
11. McClard’s (Hot Springs, Arkansas) (bonus points for the tamales)
12. Luling City Market (Luling, Texas) (bonus points for being the first place I ate off butcher paper)
13. Public Eye (Memphis, Tennessee) (sympathy points for burning down)
14. Goode Company (Houston, Texas) (bonus points for jambalaya)
15. Penguin Ed’s B&B (Fayetteville, Arkansas) (bonus points for the sliced pork sandwiches)
16. Pig-N-Whistle (Memphis, Tennessee)
17. County Line (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the bread)
18. Spring Creek (Dallas, Texas) (bonus points for the rolls, cobbler, and ice cream)
19. Germantown Commissary (Germantown, Tennessee)
20. Ruby’s (Austin, Texas)
21. Whole Foods Market (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the habanero sausage)
22. Pok-e-Jo's (Austin, Texas)
23. Iron Works (Austin, Texas)
24. Kruez Market (Lockhart, Texas)
25. Railhead (Fort Worth, Texas)
26. Lambert's (Austin, Texas)
27. Famous Dave's (Wichita, Kansas) (bonus points for the regional sauces)
28. Southside Market (Elgin, Texas)
29. Little Richard's (Winston-Salem, North Carolina) (Tough to evaluate--the chopped pork was, in my opinion, subpar, but the ribs more than made up for it. Good hush puppies, too.)
30. Gridley’s (Memphis, Tennessee)
31. Swinging Door (Richmond, Texas)
32. Colter's (Fort Worth, Texas)
33. Jerry Mikeska's (Columbus, Texas)
34. Tom's (College Station, Texas)
35. Peter's (Ellinger, Texas)

The Top 75 Beatles Songs of All Time

1. The Long and Winding Road
2. Hey Bulldog
3. Two of Us
4. Here Comes the Sun
5. Paperback Writer
6. We Can Work It Out
7. Happiness is a Warm Gun
8. Blackbird
9. Penny Lane
10. She Loves You
11. Nowhere Man
12. Please Please Me
13. Mean Mr. Mustard/Polythene Pam/She Came in Through the Bathroom Window
14. Rain
15. Lovely Rita
16. For No One
17. Help!
18. Back in the U.S.S.R.
19. From Me To You
20. If I Fell
21. Let It Be
22. A Hard Day’s Night
23. Martha My Dear
24. Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End
25. Hey Jude
26. I’ll Follow the Sun
27. Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
28. I’ll Be Back
29. This Boy
30. Don’t Let Me Down
31. Magical Mystery Tour
32. Rocky Raccoon
33. Lady Madonna
34. The Ballad of John and Yoko
35. Strawberry Fields Forever
36. Sexy Sadie
37. I Saw Her Standing There
38. Fixing a Hole
39. Get Back
40. I Feel Fine
41. I’ve Just Seen a Face
42. Don’t Pass Me By
43. I Should Have Known Better
44. Your Mother Should Know
45. Good Morning, Good Morning
46. I am the Walrus
47. In My Life
48. Here, There, and Everywhere
49. Little Child
50. Piggies
51. Yesterday
52. Cry Baby Cry
53. All Together Now
54. Hello Goodbye
55. Got to Get You Into My Life
56. Eight Days a Week
57. Savoy Truffle
58. Good Day Sunshine
59. Devil in Her Heart
60. Tell Me Why
61. Something
62. I’m a Loser
63. The Fool on the Hill
64. You Never Give Me Your Money
65. The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill
66. Birthday
67. And Your Bird Can Sing
68. Octopus’s Garden
69. Day Tripper
70. Glass Onion
71. I Want You (She’s So Heavy)
72. If I Needed Someone
73. Being for the Benefit of Mr. Kite
74. Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey
75. Mother Nature’s Son

The Top 60 Cartoon Characters of All Time

1. Homer Simpson (The Simpsons)
2. Mr. Peabody and Sherman (Rocky and Bullwinkle)
3. Wile E. Coyote (Looney Tunes) (includes his most notable incarnation in the Roadrunner series, as well as the Super Genius foil to Bugs Bunny and as Ralph Wolf versus Sam Sheepdog)
4. Bullwinkle J. Moose (Rocky and Bullwinkle)
5. Pepe Le Pew (Looney Tunes)
6. Milhouse Van Houten (The Simpsons)
7. Yosemite Sam (Looney Tunes)
8. Snidely Whiplash (Rocky and Bullwinkle)
9. Daffy Duck (Looney Tunes)
10. Bugs Bunny (Looney Tunes)
11. Rocket J. Squirrel (Rocky and Bullwinkle)
12. SpongeBob SquarePants
13. Augie Doggie and Doggie Daddy (Hanna-Barbera)
14. Tigger
15. Charlie Brown
16. Ralph Wiggum (The Simpsons)
17. Droopy Dog
18. Tom the Cat (Hanna-Barbera)*
19. George of the Jungle
20. Foghorn Leghorn (Looney Tunes)
21. Snagglepuss (Hanna-Barbera)
22. The Tasmanian Devil (Looney Tunes)
23. Hank Hill (King of the Hill)
24. Underdog
25. Captain Caveman (Hanna-Barbera)
26. Speedy Gonzalez (Looney Tunes)
27. J. Wellington Wimpy (Popeye)
28. Elmer Fudd (Looney Tunes)
29. Space Ghost (Hanna-Barbera)
30. Boris Badenov and Natasha Fatale (Rocky and Bullwinkle)
31. Ren and Stimpy
32. Sylvester J. Pussycat Senior (Looney Tunes)
33. George Jetson (Hanna-Barbera)
34. Mighty Mouse
35. Patrick the Starfish (SpongeBob Squarepants)
36. Ned Flanders (The Simpsons)
37. Mushmouth (Fat Albert)
38. Beavis and Butthead
39. Sandy Cheeks (SpongeBob SquarePants)
40. Maggie Simpson (The Simpsons)
41. Grape Ape (Hanna-Barbera)
42. Woody Woodpecker
43. Porky Pig (Looney Tunes)
44. Astro (Tralfaz) Jetson (Hanna-Barbera)
45. Marvin the Martian (Looney Tunes)
46. Hong Kong Phooey (Hanna-Barbera)
47. Felix the Cat
48. Nelson Muntz (The Simpsons)
49. Roger Rabbit
50. Inspector Gadget
51. Jabberjaw (Hanna-Barbera)
52. Shaggy (Hanna-Barbera)
53. Huckleberry Hound (Hanna-Barbera)
54. Mr. Smee (Peter Pan)
55. Dumb Donald (Fat Albert)
56. Yogi Bear (Hanna-Barbera)
57. Muttley (Hanna-Barbera)
58. The Pink Panther
59. Disco Stu (The Simpsons)
60. Monkey (Dial M for Monkey)

*I really don't want to rank Tom this highly because Tom and Jerry was really never that funny, but the fraction of a second when Tom gets his tail caught in a mousetrap or sits on a tack and then screams like a human being is always one of the funniest things I'll ever see.

The Top 25 Stand-Up Comics of All Time

1. Steve Martin
2. Bill Cosby
3. Andy Kaufman
4. Rodney Dangerfield
5. Bob Newhart
6. Chris Rock
7. Jerry Seinfeld
8. Ray Romano
9. Johnny Carson
10. Jack Benny
11. Bud Abbott & Lou Costello
12. Jay Leno
13. Jim Carrey
14. Flip Wilson
15. Dennis Miller
16. Sid Caesar
17. Dave Chappelle
18. George Carlin
19. David Letterman
20. Jerry Stiller & Anne Meara
21. Richard Pryor
22. Milton Berle
23. Sam Kinison
24. Eddie Murphy
25. Alan King

Notes: It's tough to rate people like Letterman in a list like this. If I were ranking funny people, he'd probably be #1, but he suffers from not having done much stand up.