Everett at Three Months

We just crossed the three month threshold with Everett, and there definitely is something to be said for three months being a point where you exhale and begin to see the fun of parenting. For his first month, Everett was content to stare at walls, scratch his face, and generally hang out. That was at his best. He also, of course, screamed a lot and generally required us to be doing something to him (feed, bathe, change) every minute of the day. The baby books and the internet tell you that infants will feed 8 to 12 times per day for the first month, but Everett so liked the milk he was getting that he fed 12 times a day for the first eight weeks! He was especially cranky during evenings, to the point that Brandi often suggested that he had colic. We had a cavalcade of visitors to help us weather the storm of screams. I had some success with swaddling and turning him on his side, and I would occasionally put him on one of the stairs (closely monitored) to calm him down. I set a record of getting peed on three times in the span of 12 hours that still stands to this day.

Month two was filled with a lot of exasperation with the fact that Everett was still being a baby. Here are some of the things he could have done in month two that would have helped us out: space out his feedings (which, to his credit, he did toward the end of the month) and maybe smile or make sustained eye contact or give us just a little something in exchange for all the time we were investing in him. Everett added smiling to his repertoire, but whenever he smiled it seemed like an accident. And he'd look at people, sort of. More like look past them.

Month three brought additional, purposeful smiles, plus more activity and something that almost resembled interaction--he was looking more at people and giving them some sustained attention. This month was filled with travel, as I spent 19 days away from home and did not spend a single Friday night in my own bed. Brandi was a champ, getting Everett to sleep longer and then going back to work. We tried reading and toys and other things with little luck and varying consistency, but mostly we just marveled at a little boy adjusting to the world around him. Sometime in month three we determined that Everett is a pretty chill little kid--it's been a while since he cried for any sustained time. He's chunked up over the last several weeks, moving from below average to above average in weight.

Now that he's three months old, Everett smiles on a regular basis, and he even mixes in the occasional giggle. His favorite place to be is definitely the changing table, where he always smiles and laughs. He also will smile if he's not ready to go to bed--okay, mostly he cries and squirms, but if he's been having a good time, he will test you with a playful smile to see if you want to pick him back up. He babbles to himself, especially when he's sitting in his carseat. He's generally a calm baby, but he'll kick up a storm in no time.

Palindrome Poems

When I was living in Bedford, I had a lot of free time on my hands. How much free time? Well, I wrote two of the longest and most complex palindrome poems that have ever been created. They got deleted when I closed my old website, so here they are for posterity.


#1:
I saw suine go try tramp art,
laid arena, crania, gyms,
awe lupine poem,
now straw or cotton.
Wolf robbed evil itself
for a wade in edifices
(animal’s raw nit ego, temper).
Prevent it.
Never prep me to get in war,
slam in a sec if I denied a war off,
lest I lived ebb or flow.
Not to crow, arts won me.
Open, I pule:
was my gain arcane,
radial trap, martyr to genius?
Was I?


#2:
I made ill a sane, rare tale of wonder.
A dewy myth gimps as I ran,
I’m esodic,
I nap tons, rent rapture, damn a metal.
Otiose was I, lived a broke embargo.
Two new, as I won in a test.
One rewield, I defer,
saw names rap satire.
Monotone? No.
To no merit, a sparse man was refed.
Idle, I were not set.
An “I” now is a “we.”
Now, to grab meek or bad evil is awe,
so I to late, manmade rut.
Partners not panic, I do;
seminar is asp mighty.
My, we dared now foe, later arenas.
Allied am I.

40 years and 3 months

Christmas 2010

Today is a very special day. April 18, 2011 would have been my parents 40th wedding anniversary. I used to have trouble remembering their wedding day, and I remember many times talking to my mother when I was in college and her reminding me more than once that it was their special day, and I would say, "Oh, oops, sorry...I forgot Mom--Happy Anniversary!", not dwelling as much on it as I should have.

Once I got older and especially once I was married I realized the significance and just what a history those decades provide. This past week I considered my parents wedding day even more so than ever before and thought about my mom constantly. How do you imagine such a day passing without that partner to write another day with you? Those decades of history must include many challenges of building a strong relationship that can get you to number 40. I know they included the growing pains of raising a family and supporting each other through changing careers mid-life. Looking back now so close to our tragedy they all look like such good years with sweet memories.

I can't help but feel yet another mixture of emotions on this special and sad day. 40 years doesn't happen very often anymore, and I am happy to have been there for a small part in it. And yet sad because to love so strong and so much comes at such a high price. I know life will go on, and we have a big reminder of that as today is also Everett Winston's 3 month birthday. On yet another heartbreaking milestone for my family, and especially for my Mom, who is missing her best friend, we celebrate the life and wonderment of our baby boy.

Happy Anniversary, Momma and Daddy. For you are still in our hearts as one special and loving couple.
Happy 3 Months, Everett Winston. May you look back in 36 years and be reaping the benefits of your parents long and happy marriage.

For more pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/daniel.lauve

Charlie Sheen vs. a Random Sentence Generator

Random Sentence Generator: "The godlike floors are writing on Jupiter."

Charlie Sheen: "I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars."

RSG: "A sane bowl of soup is loving outside of the faces."

CS: "Basically, they strapped on their diapers."

RSG: "The onions laugh incredibly very far away from the iPhones."

CS: "There's a new sheriff in town and he has an army of assassins."

RSG: "The sexist skirt had been dancing horribly in the Titanic very far away from the lightbulbs."

CS: "It's been a tsunami of media and I've been riding it on a mercury surfboard."

RSG: "The muscular forest will be drinking well in a person's couch on the monks."

CS: "Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body."

RSG: "The bombs were driving outside of the banana."

CS: "I don't have burnout in my gear box."

RSG: "A glove wants to attack on top of the rock band."

CS: "They picked a fight with a warlock."

RSG: "The truly, truly nice-looking CDs want to fall normally in space."

CS: "I'm just going to sail across the winds of the universe with my goddesses."

RSG: "The wall is communicating in Hogwarts while communicating very close to the disco singers."

CS: "Clearly, I have defeated this earthworm with my words. Imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists."

RSG: "A monkey will be standing."

CS: "I will deploy my ordinance to the ground."

RSG: "Popeye is exploding beside Starbucks."

CS: "It's a turd that opens on a tugboat."

RSG: "The peculiar terrorists were singing somewhat far away from the criminal."

CS: "I'm dealing with soft targets, and it's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee."

RSG: "The dictionaries want to eat well inside of the thieves."

CS: "Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber."


Conclusion: Charlie Sheen is more likely to speak in the first person.

Flux Capacitor

This post is dedicated to Everett's aunt Cristina, who was a huge help to us as we got back from a rough trip through East Texas. She and her fiance Daniel came over with lots of food and helped us get back on our feet in Austin.




With all of the unrest in Libya, I have been thinking about how that would affect a possible reboot of the Back to the Future franchise. Libyans, as you may know, compose one of the more major plot points of the original trilogy. How might Robert Zemeckis recast his film if he were forced to exclude a certain North African nation whose currency is highly radioactive materials? Here's how I think that might go:

[Cristina McFly straps on a guitar in front of a large amplifier. She turns up all the knobs, grabs a pick, and just as she is about to begin playing, Doc Mejia hurriedly enters the room.]

Doc [clutching the newspaper from January 19]: Marty! Marty! Amazing news! Everett Winston Lauve was born on January 18 at 11:47 p.m.!

Cristina: Yeah, I know! Wait, let me see that paper!

[looking at the photo on page D1] There's the little kid, oh and there's Brandi, and Daniel, and Jimmy and Connie and Brent, and dad and mom and Alicia. Wait a minute, what happened? I'm not in that picture. It's like I've been erased!

Doc: Erased from existence...

Cristina: Doc, what can we do?

Doc: Well, actually there is something we can do. Let me show you something.

[cut to the parking lot at the Twin Pines Mall.]

Doc: Marty, look at the my stopwatch and Einstein's. They're exactly one minute apart!

Cristina: Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that you built a time machine...out of a DeLorean?

Doc: Well, I figured, If you're going to build a time machine, why not do it in style?

Cristina: What about the plutonium?

Doc: The Tunisians wanted me to build them an atomic bomb, so I took the plutonium and built them a dud out of pinball machine parts!

Cristina: Doc, I've got an idea, if this time machine can take me back in time, I can hop back into that picture at the hospital!

Doc: Great Scot! That's a hell of an idea. Well, you'd better get going. Oh no...they've found me...I don't know how, but they've found me.

Cristina: Who?

Doc: Who do you think, the Tunisians! Run for it, Marty!

[Marty drives through the parking lot, frantically trying to get it up to 88 miles per hour. After a loud flash, the DeLorean is covered in smoke. Marty opens the door to find that he is in the Twin Pines Mall parking lot.]

Cristina: Wait a minute, I'm still in 1985.

Doc: Yeah, I think Einstein's stopwatch got screwed up. He's been sitting here next to me, and now his watch is ten minutes ahead of mine. I'm afraid the time machine doesn't work.

Cristina: So what do we do about the picture?

Doc: Couldn't you just get Daniel to post a picture of you and Everett on his blog?

Cristina: Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Hey, what happened to the Tunisians?

Doc: Oh, my mistake. They were actually Algerians. They got duped into giving some uranium to a different scientist who was at the Lone Oaks Mall. Easy to get confused actually. I gave them directions. They couldn't have been nicer.

Cristina: Care to get a drink somewhere?

Doc: Sounds good, Marty. There's a bar nearby that has a smoking room.

Cristina: Well, I left my smoking jacket at home. Can I borrow yours?

Doc: Robes? Where we're going we don't need robes.

On Transmitting Likes to Children

Brandi was shooting a video of Everett in his Texas Rangers onesie this morning. She asked him why he likes the Rangers, and then she said, "Of course, we know you're going to be a Cardinals fan." For whatever reason, the idea of Everett becoming a Cardinals fan wasn't completely warm and fuzzy for me.

Lots of parents try to get their kids into the things they're into. But getting Everett to become a Cardinals fan seems like a stretch. My becoming a Cardinals fan is rooted in several things--the 1980s, Ozzie/Willie/Vince, AstroTurf--that don't apply anymore. Plus, we're not anywhere near St. Louis, and we have no plans to be. It would be more reasonable to expect him to be a Texas or A&M fan, since they're both local teams and can go to the games whenever we want.

My main question with Everett becoming a Cardinals fan, though, is not "how" but "why". The process of finding a favorite sports team is so much fun--why provide a shortcut just to push the process in the direction of your favorite team? There are lots of things, not just sports teams but cultural touchstones like Star Wars and Harry Potter, whose appeal is in large part a function of the time when we were exposed to them, plus a number of other factors we can't replicate in our kids. It seems like you should not want your children to like your favorite things but that you should want your children to like their own things as much as you like yours.

That being said, there's definitely an argument to be made for family favorites. The fact that my dad went to Dallas Cowboys games at the Cotton Bowl as a kid (and rode the Fair Park roller coaster during halftime) is a sufficient reason for me to follow them. The Cowboys, Aggies, Tar Heels, and Cardinals are a big deal to me because they're part of a shared family history, which is obviously important. Watching Jordan's shot in 1982 or Ozzie's home run in 1985 is, to me, a family moment because I was living with my family in those places when those moments happened. But so is seeing highlights of Roger Staubach or Don Meredith, even though they were playing before I was born. We follow certain teams together, we talk about them together, and it helps a lot to have those things that you can share with each other and even pass down.

So here's the conclusion I've reached. In terms of getting your children into the things that you're into, you should pass down exactly one favorite thing to your children. And that thing is The Beatles. (The rest will happen on its own, or not at all, both of which are okay.)

p.s. The Rangers onesie was a gift from one of my sales reps. My first week back at work after Everett was born was my group's yearly sales conference. The sales reps brought baby clothes representing their regions' sports teams--Texas Rangers, Oakland A's, Penn State Nittany Lions, Minnesota Vikings, and Ohio State Buckeyes (a Brutus Buckeye plush toy, actually). So Everett has worn clothes from four relatively random teams without yet having worn Cardinals, Aggies, or Longhorns gear. So I guess you could say I'm doing a good job of not indoctrinating him into my favorite sports teams. Or you could say that I'm doing a good job of indoctrinating him into sports in general.

Everett's Birth Story

http://picasaweb.google.com/daniel.lauve/Everett

January 18, 2011 started like pretty much any other day, except that Brandi was complaining of a "low ache" as she was getting ready for work. With the previous two OB appointments showing some progress, we had suspected that the baby might come over the holiday weekend. Brandi had hopefully said over and over again that she was looking forward to a January 15 baby, so when the weekend ended, we reset our expectations and got ready for a short work week.

After my brisk walk in the neighborhood ended at 7am, I noticed that my hips seemed very loose and my lower back was aching. I felt different and I also remembered that our Bradley teacher had told us to ignore early signs of labor. Taking your mind off of it would make it seem not as bad or as long. I didn't want to stay home and obsess over the fact that this could be the day that Everett would be born, so I went to the office!

I went to a couple of meetings at work and by lunchtime, I could tell that the labor cues were getting stronger, although it still didn't feel like any of the pains were true contractions that could be timed. I knew it was time to go home when I kept having to lean on my desk in my cube to relieve the intensity of the lower back pain. I wrapped up what I could at work and had this thought that I would go home and get out of my dress and boots and try to take a nap and see if that made me feel any better. When I couldn't nap because the pain was too much, I called my mom and told her that it was probably time for them to start heading to Austin.

Brandi called me at a little before noon telling me that she was planning on heading home for the day and that I should plan to be home a little early. An hour later she called and asked me to be home as soon as I could. So I wrapped up everything I could think of at the office and announced that I was leaving to be with my wife.

Leaving work in the middle of the day, when you have a wife eight and a half months pregnant, definitely raises some eyebrows. I was feeling full of energy as I raced down Mopac, and when I got to the house I just wanted to run up and give Brandi a big hug and kiss and ask her, "Are you ready to do this!!!" But Brandi had an entirely different energy--she was in the bathtub looking very serene, and it was obvious she was in pain. It was nearly 3:00 p.m., and the contractions were 7 or 8 minutes apart.

I just remember feeling very focused throughout early labor, gearing up for what I knew was going to be an intense experience. I was anxious for Daniel to get home. After 12 weeks of classes and preparation, I knew that he was an integral part in making me feel at ease and reminding me that we could do this. When he arrived and sat on the side of tub and let me lean into him I felt strangely calm and so much love.

By 4:00, the contractions were five minutes apart and a minute long. I was running around the house packing and calling our doctor and our doula, running back to the bathroom every five minutes to be with Brandi through a contraction. I felt a little bit like a plate spinner, but I also knew I had the easy part. By 5:00, the contractions were three to four minutes apart. We left the house at 5:30 and made the five-minute trip to the hospital.

Seton Southwest is a small hospital in the southwest corner of Austin. It has 19 beds, 7 for labor and delivery. We had known that labor and delivery was at capacity for a week, so before we got to our room we had to stay in a small triage room for a little while. When we first arrived at the hospital, they did an exam to see what Brandi's progress was. Dilation is sort of like a watched pot. It is something that isn't very predictable, so she made the decision to not find out how dilated she was so that it didn't discourage her in any way. I later asked the nurse privately and she was at 4 centimeters. Brandi continued to have regular contractions, and she found numerous ways to deal with them. She would lay on her side in bed, lean on me while walking around the hospital, or use the exercise ball we brought.

Around 7:00 p.m., we were walking in the hall, and we turned the corner and saw my parents, they had just arrived to the hospital. It tugged at my heart to see them, however I knew I needed to stay focused. I walked with them a little and after watching one of the stronger contractions, my Daddy was ready to go to the waiting room so that he didn't have to see his little girl in pain! I felt like the contractions that I was having right before we left for the hospital were painful, but I later discovered that was somewhat naive. The pain increased significantly at the hospital and twice the thought of an epidural crossed my mind.

It was difficult seeing her in so much pain, but it was good to hear Jessica, our doula, say that her contractions were productive. She had some very difficult ones, and she wanted me right in her face for each and every one. At one point, I stepped away to throw some goldfish down my throat (I hadn't eaten in 9 hours), and I finished a bite right as another contraction was starting. So I ran over to Brandi, and when the contraction was over Brandi said, frustrated, "You need GUM!!!" Apparently goldfish breath is not her favorite. But she was incredibly focused and strong throughout the whole ordeal.

Both Daniel and Jessica were the best team a laboring woman could have. Daniel was encouraging me and full of energy. During a contraction, I didn't take my eyes off of him. He kept the 9 hours of music that he compiled for the labor going, and told me stories that kept me focused on us. Jessica offered reassurance that everything was going as it should, kept us calm, and kept the right amount of pressure on my lower back so that Daniel could focus on talking to me.

Brandi was fully dilated by 10:00 p.m., but her water still hadn't broken yet. So our doctor offered to break it for her, using a device that looks like the offspring of a chopstick and an orange peeler. After that she was solidly into the pushing phase. Brandi was very tired at this point, and it was a challenge for her to muster the energy to push him out, but she did an amazing job.

Once I was past transition and into 2nd stage labor, my contractions started feeling "pushy" as the nurse put it, and they weren't as painful. My body pretty much started pushing on it's own. I looked at the clock on the wall in front of me at 11:30 p.m. and will never forget telling the birthing team that his birthday was going to be the 18th and that it was time for him to get here. Everett Winston Lauve arrived at 10:47 p.m., all 7 pounds 9 ounces and 20 1/2 inches.

I can't say enough about what a superstar Brandi was through the whole process, from her months of preparation to her pushing through all kinds of pain and fatigue at the hospital. I will never, ever compare anything to what a woman goes through in childbirth, not even the time we were at a restaurant and my meal arrived ten minutes after everyone else's.

As soon as the delivery was over, the pain went away and I felt nothing but elation and adrenaline. Our baby was welcomed into the world soon after with an audience of family. All of our parents, Daniel's sister Alicia and my brother Brent were there to greet him. I haven't completely forgotten the pain and yet the experience was so powerful and uncomplicated, I would do it all over again for our beautiful boy!

p.s. There are a lot of details that we left out of this particular retelling, for the sake of internet propriety. If you want to hear more, just ask Brandi.