The War on God Bless You

It's that time of year again. The time when we all strive for peace, love, and good health, though the forces of evil sit right around the corner. It's allergy season. And though most of us see this as a time to spread good wishes, the forces of secularism are out to ruin it once again.

Since the Middle Ages, "God bless you" has been an effective means for not only warding off disease, but also for letting everyone in your vicinity know whose side you stood on, eternally speaking. But somewhere along the way, we have gone from "God bless you" to just "Bless you." Apparently, being relatively free of bubonic plague for the last few centuries has emboldened us to the point where we no longer feel the need to invoke the source of all our blessings. "Bless you" is hardly a blessing at all; it's a sentence without a subject. And it's also a way of surreptitiously shutting out those of us who oppose the secularization of sneeze acknowledgments. Consider the following:

In Minot, ND, a kindergarten teacher said "God bless you" after a five-year-old girl sneezed in class. That girl's mother petitioned the school board, and the teacher was put on a 30-day probation.

In Cleveland, OH, Wal-Mart employees have been instructed to give a two-word response to anyone spreading germs on store premises: "Bless you." The employee handbook has been amended to read, "If any employee hears another person in the store, whether co-employee or guest, issue an audible sneeze, he or she is to respond with a polite but unmistakable '[censored] bless you.'"

In Ontario, CA, a family of ear, nose, and throat specialists placed a giant sign reading "God Bless You" in their front yard. The sign was repeatedly vandalized, and several attempts were made to steal it. The neighborhood home owner's association took no action.

What's worse, many religious leaders seem to be turning a blind eye to this phenomenon, even, in some cases, leading their flocks in the wrong direction. Bill O'Reilly, well-known pundit and talk show host, recounts a story in which he realized the severity of the problem. "I'm sitting on an airplane, and I've got a minister sitting next to me. I sneeze, and he says, 'Bless you.' That's it. Not even a 'G'bless you.' Nothing. It pains me to think about this man standing in front of a congregation every Sunday and sermonizing on moral issues."

Some allergy season in the not-too-distant future, it will be possible to sneeze without inviting others to display a paradoxical indifference toward their creator. Until then, just hold it in.

Let’s Talk Loyalty

News of Billy Gillespie's departure hit me like a kick to the stomach. I guess I should know better--I thought that A&M's announcement of an agreement on a new contract was meaningful, but I've seen this movie too many times before, and I should have known that when a bigger program comes calling, that takes precedence over whatever niceties have been said on behalf of the current program. Not that the niceties are insincere, it's just that money tends to have more of an effect than you would think. At least that's what I would think happens, because big time coaches and athletes have proven themselves time and time again to be mercenaries, talking over and over again about how they want to stay put, and leaving at the drop of a hat when a little more money comes calling.

It seems, however, that loyalty is a one-way street nowadays. For 80% of the Aggie basketball fans, the philosophy has been, Put a winning team on the court and I'll show up. I think that's natural, up to a point, but it always sounded a little contradictory from a student body that considers itself the greatest, classiest, most loyal sports (read: football) fans in the country. It's easy to talk loyalty when there's no cost involved, when you're talking about how loyal someone else should be to you.

All of a sudden we have an opportunity to show some real loyalty. So A&M is not a basketball program that can outattract the most successful college basketball program of all time--that's not exactly a shock. But I still have no idea how good a program we have; that will be demonstrated over the next few years. Because all we've had so far is a coach who decided to use the program as a stepping stone, and a group of fans who decided to ride the wave of success. The school is committed, I believe, to building a winner. But it's going to take more than that to have a consistently successful program.