Flux Capacitor

This post is dedicated to Everett's aunt Cristina, who was a huge help to us as we got back from a rough trip through East Texas. She and her fiance Daniel came over with lots of food and helped us get back on our feet in Austin.




With all of the unrest in Libya, I have been thinking about how that would affect a possible reboot of the Back to the Future franchise. Libyans, as you may know, compose one of the more major plot points of the original trilogy. How might Robert Zemeckis recast his film if he were forced to exclude a certain North African nation whose currency is highly radioactive materials? Here's how I think that might go:

[Cristina McFly straps on a guitar in front of a large amplifier. She turns up all the knobs, grabs a pick, and just as she is about to begin playing, Doc Mejia hurriedly enters the room.]

Doc [clutching the newspaper from January 19]: Marty! Marty! Amazing news! Everett Winston Lauve was born on January 18 at 11:47 p.m.!

Cristina: Yeah, I know! Wait, let me see that paper!

[looking at the photo on page D1] There's the little kid, oh and there's Brandi, and Daniel, and Jimmy and Connie and Brent, and dad and mom and Alicia. Wait a minute, what happened? I'm not in that picture. It's like I've been erased!

Doc: Erased from existence...

Cristina: Doc, what can we do?

Doc: Well, actually there is something we can do. Let me show you something.

[cut to the parking lot at the Twin Pines Mall.]

Doc: Marty, look at the my stopwatch and Einstein's. They're exactly one minute apart!

Cristina: Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that you built a time machine...out of a DeLorean?

Doc: Well, I figured, If you're going to build a time machine, why not do it in style?

Cristina: What about the plutonium?

Doc: The Tunisians wanted me to build them an atomic bomb, so I took the plutonium and built them a dud out of pinball machine parts!

Cristina: Doc, I've got an idea, if this time machine can take me back in time, I can hop back into that picture at the hospital!

Doc: Great Scot! That's a hell of an idea. Well, you'd better get going. Oh no...they've found me...I don't know how, but they've found me.

Cristina: Who?

Doc: Who do you think, the Tunisians! Run for it, Marty!

[Marty drives through the parking lot, frantically trying to get it up to 88 miles per hour. After a loud flash, the DeLorean is covered in smoke. Marty opens the door to find that he is in the Twin Pines Mall parking lot.]

Cristina: Wait a minute, I'm still in 1985.

Doc: Yeah, I think Einstein's stopwatch got screwed up. He's been sitting here next to me, and now his watch is ten minutes ahead of mine. I'm afraid the time machine doesn't work.

Cristina: So what do we do about the picture?

Doc: Couldn't you just get Daniel to post a picture of you and Everett on his blog?

Cristina: Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Hey, what happened to the Tunisians?

Doc: Oh, my mistake. They were actually Algerians. They got duped into giving some uranium to a different scientist who was at the Lone Oaks Mall. Easy to get confused actually. I gave them directions. They couldn't have been nicer.

Cristina: Care to get a drink somewhere?

Doc: Sounds good, Marty. There's a bar nearby that has a smoking room.

Cristina: Well, I left my smoking jacket at home. Can I borrow yours?

Doc: Robes? Where we're going we don't need robes.

On Transmitting Likes to Children

Brandi was shooting a video of Everett in his Texas Rangers onesie this morning. She asked him why he likes the Rangers, and then she said, "Of course, we know you're going to be a Cardinals fan." For whatever reason, the idea of Everett becoming a Cardinals fan wasn't completely warm and fuzzy for me.

Lots of parents try to get their kids into the things they're into. But getting Everett to become a Cardinals fan seems like a stretch. My becoming a Cardinals fan is rooted in several things--the 1980s, Ozzie/Willie/Vince, AstroTurf--that don't apply anymore. Plus, we're not anywhere near St. Louis, and we have no plans to be. It would be more reasonable to expect him to be a Texas or A&M fan, since they're both local teams and can go to the games whenever we want.

My main question with Everett becoming a Cardinals fan, though, is not "how" but "why". The process of finding a favorite sports team is so much fun--why provide a shortcut just to push the process in the direction of your favorite team? There are lots of things, not just sports teams but cultural touchstones like Star Wars and Harry Potter, whose appeal is in large part a function of the time when we were exposed to them, plus a number of other factors we can't replicate in our kids. It seems like you should not want your children to like your favorite things but that you should want your children to like their own things as much as you like yours.

That being said, there's definitely an argument to be made for family favorites. The fact that my dad went to Dallas Cowboys games at the Cotton Bowl as a kid (and rode the Fair Park roller coaster during halftime) is a sufficient reason for me to follow them. The Cowboys, Aggies, Tar Heels, and Cardinals are a big deal to me because they're part of a shared family history, which is obviously important. Watching Jordan's shot in 1982 or Ozzie's home run in 1985 is, to me, a family moment because I was living with my family in those places when those moments happened. But so is seeing highlights of Roger Staubach or Don Meredith, even though they were playing before I was born. We follow certain teams together, we talk about them together, and it helps a lot to have those things that you can share with each other and even pass down.

So here's the conclusion I've reached. In terms of getting your children into the things that you're into, you should pass down exactly one favorite thing to your children. And that thing is The Beatles. (The rest will happen on its own, or not at all, both of which are okay.)

p.s. The Rangers onesie was a gift from one of my sales reps. My first week back at work after Everett was born was my group's yearly sales conference. The sales reps brought baby clothes representing their regions' sports teams--Texas Rangers, Oakland A's, Penn State Nittany Lions, Minnesota Vikings, and Ohio State Buckeyes (a Brutus Buckeye plush toy, actually). So Everett has worn clothes from four relatively random teams without yet having worn Cardinals, Aggies, or Longhorns gear. So I guess you could say I'm doing a good job of not indoctrinating him into my favorite sports teams. Or you could say that I'm doing a good job of indoctrinating him into sports in general.

Everett's Birth Story

http://picasaweb.google.com/daniel.lauve/Everett

January 18, 2011 started like pretty much any other day, except that Brandi was complaining of a "low ache" as she was getting ready for work. With the previous two OB appointments showing some progress, we had suspected that the baby might come over the holiday weekend. Brandi had hopefully said over and over again that she was looking forward to a January 15 baby, so when the weekend ended, we reset our expectations and got ready for a short work week.

After my brisk walk in the neighborhood ended at 7am, I noticed that my hips seemed very loose and my lower back was aching. I felt different and I also remembered that our Bradley teacher had told us to ignore early signs of labor. Taking your mind off of it would make it seem not as bad or as long. I didn't want to stay home and obsess over the fact that this could be the day that Everett would be born, so I went to the office!

I went to a couple of meetings at work and by lunchtime, I could tell that the labor cues were getting stronger, although it still didn't feel like any of the pains were true contractions that could be timed. I knew it was time to go home when I kept having to lean on my desk in my cube to relieve the intensity of the lower back pain. I wrapped up what I could at work and had this thought that I would go home and get out of my dress and boots and try to take a nap and see if that made me feel any better. When I couldn't nap because the pain was too much, I called my mom and told her that it was probably time for them to start heading to Austin.

Brandi called me at a little before noon telling me that she was planning on heading home for the day and that I should plan to be home a little early. An hour later she called and asked me to be home as soon as I could. So I wrapped up everything I could think of at the office and announced that I was leaving to be with my wife.

Leaving work in the middle of the day, when you have a wife eight and a half months pregnant, definitely raises some eyebrows. I was feeling full of energy as I raced down Mopac, and when I got to the house I just wanted to run up and give Brandi a big hug and kiss and ask her, "Are you ready to do this!!!" But Brandi had an entirely different energy--she was in the bathtub looking very serene, and it was obvious she was in pain. It was nearly 3:00 p.m., and the contractions were 7 or 8 minutes apart.

I just remember feeling very focused throughout early labor, gearing up for what I knew was going to be an intense experience. I was anxious for Daniel to get home. After 12 weeks of classes and preparation, I knew that he was an integral part in making me feel at ease and reminding me that we could do this. When he arrived and sat on the side of tub and let me lean into him I felt strangely calm and so much love.

By 4:00, the contractions were five minutes apart and a minute long. I was running around the house packing and calling our doctor and our doula, running back to the bathroom every five minutes to be with Brandi through a contraction. I felt a little bit like a plate spinner, but I also knew I had the easy part. By 5:00, the contractions were three to four minutes apart. We left the house at 5:30 and made the five-minute trip to the hospital.

Seton Southwest is a small hospital in the southwest corner of Austin. It has 19 beds, 7 for labor and delivery. We had known that labor and delivery was at capacity for a week, so before we got to our room we had to stay in a small triage room for a little while. When we first arrived at the hospital, they did an exam to see what Brandi's progress was. Dilation is sort of like a watched pot. It is something that isn't very predictable, so she made the decision to not find out how dilated she was so that it didn't discourage her in any way. I later asked the nurse privately and she was at 4 centimeters. Brandi continued to have regular contractions, and she found numerous ways to deal with them. She would lay on her side in bed, lean on me while walking around the hospital, or use the exercise ball we brought.

Around 7:00 p.m., we were walking in the hall, and we turned the corner and saw my parents, they had just arrived to the hospital. It tugged at my heart to see them, however I knew I needed to stay focused. I walked with them a little and after watching one of the stronger contractions, my Daddy was ready to go to the waiting room so that he didn't have to see his little girl in pain! I felt like the contractions that I was having right before we left for the hospital were painful, but I later discovered that was somewhat naive. The pain increased significantly at the hospital and twice the thought of an epidural crossed my mind.

It was difficult seeing her in so much pain, but it was good to hear Jessica, our doula, say that her contractions were productive. She had some very difficult ones, and she wanted me right in her face for each and every one. At one point, I stepped away to throw some goldfish down my throat (I hadn't eaten in 9 hours), and I finished a bite right as another contraction was starting. So I ran over to Brandi, and when the contraction was over Brandi said, frustrated, "You need GUM!!!" Apparently goldfish breath is not her favorite. But she was incredibly focused and strong throughout the whole ordeal.

Both Daniel and Jessica were the best team a laboring woman could have. Daniel was encouraging me and full of energy. During a contraction, I didn't take my eyes off of him. He kept the 9 hours of music that he compiled for the labor going, and told me stories that kept me focused on us. Jessica offered reassurance that everything was going as it should, kept us calm, and kept the right amount of pressure on my lower back so that Daniel could focus on talking to me.

Brandi was fully dilated by 10:00 p.m., but her water still hadn't broken yet. So our doctor offered to break it for her, using a device that looks like the offspring of a chopstick and an orange peeler. After that she was solidly into the pushing phase. Brandi was very tired at this point, and it was a challenge for her to muster the energy to push him out, but she did an amazing job.

Once I was past transition and into 2nd stage labor, my contractions started feeling "pushy" as the nurse put it, and they weren't as painful. My body pretty much started pushing on it's own. I looked at the clock on the wall in front of me at 11:30 p.m. and will never forget telling the birthing team that his birthday was going to be the 18th and that it was time for him to get here. Everett Winston Lauve arrived at 10:47 p.m., all 7 pounds 9 ounces and 20 1/2 inches.

I can't say enough about what a superstar Brandi was through the whole process, from her months of preparation to her pushing through all kinds of pain and fatigue at the hospital. I will never, ever compare anything to what a woman goes through in childbirth, not even the time we were at a restaurant and my meal arrived ten minutes after everyone else's.

As soon as the delivery was over, the pain went away and I felt nothing but elation and adrenaline. Our baby was welcomed into the world soon after with an audience of family. All of our parents, Daniel's sister Alicia and my brother Brent were there to greet him. I haven't completely forgotten the pain and yet the experience was so powerful and uncomplicated, I would do it all over again for our beautiful boy!

p.s. There are a lot of details that we left out of this particular retelling, for the sake of internet propriety. If you want to hear more, just ask Brandi.