Flux Capacitor

This post is dedicated to Everett's aunt Cristina, who was a huge help to us as we got back from a rough trip through East Texas. She and her fiance Daniel came over with lots of food and helped us get back on our feet in Austin.




With all of the unrest in Libya, I have been thinking about how that would affect a possible reboot of the Back to the Future franchise. Libyans, as you may know, compose one of the more major plot points of the original trilogy. How might Robert Zemeckis recast his film if he were forced to exclude a certain North African nation whose currency is highly radioactive materials? Here's how I think that might go:

[Cristina McFly straps on a guitar in front of a large amplifier. She turns up all the knobs, grabs a pick, and just as she is about to begin playing, Doc Mejia hurriedly enters the room.]

Doc [clutching the newspaper from January 19]: Marty! Marty! Amazing news! Everett Winston Lauve was born on January 18 at 11:47 p.m.!

Cristina: Yeah, I know! Wait, let me see that paper!

[looking at the photo on page D1] There's the little kid, oh and there's Brandi, and Daniel, and Jimmy and Connie and Brent, and dad and mom and Alicia. Wait a minute, what happened? I'm not in that picture. It's like I've been erased!

Doc: Erased from existence...

Cristina: Doc, what can we do?

Doc: Well, actually there is something we can do. Let me show you something.

[cut to the parking lot at the Twin Pines Mall.]

Doc: Marty, look at the my stopwatch and Einstein's. They're exactly one minute apart!

Cristina: Wait a minute, Doc, are you trying to tell me that you built a time machine...out of a DeLorean?

Doc: Well, I figured, If you're going to build a time machine, why not do it in style?

Cristina: What about the plutonium?

Doc: The Tunisians wanted me to build them an atomic bomb, so I took the plutonium and built them a dud out of pinball machine parts!

Cristina: Doc, I've got an idea, if this time machine can take me back in time, I can hop back into that picture at the hospital!

Doc: Great Scot! That's a hell of an idea. Well, you'd better get going. Oh no...they've found me...I don't know how, but they've found me.

Cristina: Who?

Doc: Who do you think, the Tunisians! Run for it, Marty!

[Marty drives through the parking lot, frantically trying to get it up to 88 miles per hour. After a loud flash, the DeLorean is covered in smoke. Marty opens the door to find that he is in the Twin Pines Mall parking lot.]

Cristina: Wait a minute, I'm still in 1985.

Doc: Yeah, I think Einstein's stopwatch got screwed up. He's been sitting here next to me, and now his watch is ten minutes ahead of mine. I'm afraid the time machine doesn't work.

Cristina: So what do we do about the picture?

Doc: Couldn't you just get Daniel to post a picture of you and Everett on his blog?

Cristina: Yeah, that's not a bad idea. Hey, what happened to the Tunisians?

Doc: Oh, my mistake. They were actually Algerians. They got duped into giving some uranium to a different scientist who was at the Lone Oaks Mall. Easy to get confused actually. I gave them directions. They couldn't have been nicer.

Cristina: Care to get a drink somewhere?

Doc: Sounds good, Marty. There's a bar nearby that has a smoking room.

Cristina: Well, I left my smoking jacket at home. Can I borrow yours?

Doc: Robes? Where we're going we don't need robes.