This weekend I was lucky enough to see all three games the Cardinals played against the Astros in Houston.
Remember when Mr. Burns wanted to charge the town of Springfield for power so he built a big sun blocker to keep the town in perpetual darkness? I can’t help but think that C. M. Burns was brought in as a consultant on the construction of Enron Field. Like the sun blocker, the roof at Minute Maid Park is capable of moving but only serves the purpose of keeping the sun out. The last seven games I have attended in Houston have all featured a closed roof. It seems like attaching to your stadium a cool thing like a “retractable roof” comes with a responsibility, namely, to open it every now and again. Otherwise what you’ve got is a plain old roof. The sun is nice to have during a ballgame. That’s all I’m saying.
Friday, September 2, 2005
The first game looked to be the most lopsided matchup. Mark Mulder went for the Cardinals against Ezequiel Astacio, and he was about as perfect as you can be while giving up two runs. In the second inning, two bloop hits and an error led to the two runs. In the third, Mulder issued only a walk. In the fourth through eighth, Mulder retired all eighteen batters consecutively, and the ball never left the infield. For the Cards, hits were steady, but the Astros were able to work around much of the damage. Astacio allowed eight hits in 5 1/3 innings, but he walked none, and the three runs he allowed came from opposite field home runs to Molina (solo) and Edmonds (two runs). When the eighth inning ended, the Cardinals had three runs on ten hits, and the Astros had two runs on two hits.
Enter Jason Isringhausen. The first batter he faced was Morgan Ensberg, who homered to give Houston three runs on three hits. The crazy thing about it is that I had a bad feeling before Izzy came in. Not that he’s an unreliable closer, but you wonder about removing Mulder from his masterful appearance and bringing in someone who hasn’t had a lot of work lately. But he did end the inning with two strikeouts and a ground out to send the game into extras.
In the top of the tenth, Pujols led off with a double, was bunted to third by Edmonds, and was brought home by John Rodriguez on one of the gutsiest squeeze play calls I’ve ever seen. John Rodriguez? Sometimes I think La Russa does these things just to entertain himself.
In the bottom of the inning, Ausmus went yard on Isringhausen. Blown save number two, essentially.
The Cards were retired in order in the eleventh and twelfth. And they handed the ball to Cal Eldred for the bottom halves of those innings, which made me rest easy. I’ve always liked Eldred. I think part of it is his story, as profiled in Three Nights in August. Part of it is seeing him at spring training last year. I was standing about five feet from him, on the other side of a chain link fence, watching him endure a few autograph hounds. One guy was carting around a big box, in which he had multiple 8 x 10 photographs of each player. He set down his box right by Eldred, fished around for a while, and dug out a picture of Eldred wearing a Chicago White Sox uniform. He rolled it up and passed it through the fence, and when he got it back it begrudgingly bore the signature of one of the newest Cardinals. Spring training taught me what an absolute beating autograph signing is, and I’ve always respected guys who do a lot of it. (Kudos to David Eckstein for going above and beyond the call of duty during this series--joking with fans during throwing drills and signing after doing some stretching.) Also, I think Eldred’s a very consistent reliever. And he got the job done, working around a leadoff double in the 11th and, after giving up a single in the 12th, benefiting from Pujols’s read-the-bunt-play-perfectly-and-sprint-and-slide-toward-the-ball-and-field-and-make-a-perfect-throw-to-get-the-lead-runner greatness.
Edmonds led off the 13th with a home run. In the bottom, Ensberg led off with a single off Tavarez but was forced out at second on a very bad call on a sacrifice bunt play. Lane singled, and Tavarez intentionally walked Vizcaino to load the bases for Orlando Palmeiro. La Russa brought in King, who plunked in the tying run and was immediately taken out. Reyes then got Ausmus to pop out but allowed the winning run to score on a Bruntlett single to left. It was a very strange half inning that capped off probably the greatest game I’ve ever seen.
Saturday, September 3, 2005
Today was one of those days that made me think back a ways. In 1985, a guy named John Tudor joined the St. Louis Cardinals. After a 1-7 start, he finished the year 21-8, finishing the year almost unhittable. In most seasons, almost unhittable will get you a Cy Young award, but unfortunately for Tudor a kid named Dwight Gooden was genuinely unhittable that year. Tudor’s ERA was a sublime 1.93; Gooden’s was an unreal 1.53.
What John Tudor was unable to do in 1985, Carpenter might be able to do in 2005. No Cards pitcher has won a Cy Young since Bob Gibson, but Carp’s the real deal. I was there for his brilliant 2-0 victory over Andy Petitte back in June. Before today's game I did a little research and discovered that the Astros had scored one run off him in 24 innings this year. I had a chance to see Chris Carpenter win his 20th game and take a big lead in the Cy Young race, but he would have to get past his old mentor Roger Clemens.
The Cardinals used to have incredible trouble with Roger Clemens, until game 7 of the 2004 NLCS. Since then they have wins in 3 of 4 games against him, and in the one they lost they scored four runs on him.
Carpenter worked around trouble in the first and second, getting two guys out between third and home and allowing just one run to score despite allowing four straight hits (and three straight doubles) across the two innings. The Cardinals took a 2-1 lead in an inning in which only Pujols’s lead off single left the infield. A walk, an error, and a swinging bunt single created the rest of the damage.
Clemens left after five because of a hamstring injury. Berkman’s sixth inning homer took him off the hook for the loss, but Cardinal runs in the 7th and 8th gave Carpenter all he would need. He went the distance, retiring the final 11. Hugs all around as Carpenter set himself further apart from the rest of the field. He is now 3-0 against Clemens and Dontrelle Willis.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
The usually hittable Wandy Rodriguez faced the minimum number of batters through five innings, thanks to a couple nifty snags of hard hit balls by Willy Tavares. Meanwhile, the resurgent Jason Marquis gave up a homer to Lance Berkman in the fourth.
In the top of the sixth, Rodriguez walked the Nunez, leading off the inning from the 7 spot, and hit Luna with a pitch. The baserunners were advanced by a Marquis bunt and brought in by an Edmonds single.
After the Berkman homer, Marquis was nearly perfect. He gave up one hit over the last 5 1/3 and retired the last seven. In the perfect fifth and sixth, he retired two by strikeout and had four balls tapped back to him. He threw six pitches in the eighth and, oh yeah, went the distance in a 4-1 win.
Here’s my stat of the series: 26 to 16 1/3. Over the three games, Cardinals starters averaged three more innings than Astros starters. Rodriguez was the workhorse of the Astros staff with six innings pitched; Mulder, who threw eight but easily could have gone nine, was the laggard of the Cards staff.
Sunday, September 4, 2005
Saturday, September 3, 2005
What’s in your wallet? Too much money, apparently.
I just saw a noteworthy commercial. It involved Capital One and its Viking characters. As the spot opens, some sort of counselor is talking about how he’s had to get the plunderers new jobs since they can’t attack people with inferior credit cards, because everyone is now using Capital One credit cards. The scenes that follow show how inept these men are at the jobs of today: one serves ice cream to a child using his hand as a scooper, another wrecks a car as a valet, and so on. Well, I’ve got a job for them: end the disturbing proliferation of serial commercials. Use force if necessary.
In past years, we would occasionally see a commercial character that was so memorable that we were actually interested in seeing it again. Characters like the Budweiser frogs, the Energizer bunny, and the Chick-Fil-A cows made us laugh and also bled into everyday conversations in a way that justified their appearing in multiple commercials.
Lately, though, it had taken a lot less for brands to christen themselves as being worthy of serial commercials. A great example from last year was Guinness Draught. The Guinness ads all operated under the same framework: two animated, turn of the century (19th-20th) men with handlebar mustaches discuss their new invention of Guinness Draught in a bottle, and they also stumble upon other useful inventions. These discoveries are generally of something that will allow the men to enjoy their Guinness more, like a six-pack or a can opener. After announcing their discovery, the men say, “Brilliant!” and then they toast another bottle of Guinness. The ads reminded consumers of the old-timey nature of Guinness Draught, and they impressed that Guinness has been a trailblazer in the world of beer. After a while, though, they stranded off message. In one commercial, the two men are discussing the inconvenience of their telegraph machines, when one man mentions that he has invented something new: the telephone. “Brilliant!” they both say, and they drink another bottle of Guinness. The commercials started off being about the product, and they ended up being about two characters I’m not sure anybody cared about.
Same thing with Capital One. These Viking characters may have been part of delivering a product message, but I question whether their popular appeal or their connection to the brand is strong enough to make these stand-alone sequels work.
I wonder whether this is happening because of a disconnect between the creators of these commercials and their audience. I would imagine that the marketing folks and ad agency for Capital One genuinely believe that they have created something original and are proud enough that they want to show us their creation again, and again, and again. But how many conversations have you been in where somebody said, “Did you see what the Vikings did this time?”
I know a lot of ad junkies see these commercials perpetuated to see where the story goes. But to me, and I suspect to many people who watch commercials somewhat passively, if your commercial has no buzz appeal, then you’re wasting your money by drawing out a story and taking your characters further and further away from the brand.
In past years, we would occasionally see a commercial character that was so memorable that we were actually interested in seeing it again. Characters like the Budweiser frogs, the Energizer bunny, and the Chick-Fil-A cows made us laugh and also bled into everyday conversations in a way that justified their appearing in multiple commercials.
Lately, though, it had taken a lot less for brands to christen themselves as being worthy of serial commercials. A great example from last year was Guinness Draught. The Guinness ads all operated under the same framework: two animated, turn of the century (19th-20th) men with handlebar mustaches discuss their new invention of Guinness Draught in a bottle, and they also stumble upon other useful inventions. These discoveries are generally of something that will allow the men to enjoy their Guinness more, like a six-pack or a can opener. After announcing their discovery, the men say, “Brilliant!” and then they toast another bottle of Guinness. The ads reminded consumers of the old-timey nature of Guinness Draught, and they impressed that Guinness has been a trailblazer in the world of beer. After a while, though, they stranded off message. In one commercial, the two men are discussing the inconvenience of their telegraph machines, when one man mentions that he has invented something new: the telephone. “Brilliant!” they both say, and they drink another bottle of Guinness. The commercials started off being about the product, and they ended up being about two characters I’m not sure anybody cared about.
Same thing with Capital One. These Viking characters may have been part of delivering a product message, but I question whether their popular appeal or their connection to the brand is strong enough to make these stand-alone sequels work.
I wonder whether this is happening because of a disconnect between the creators of these commercials and their audience. I would imagine that the marketing folks and ad agency for Capital One genuinely believe that they have created something original and are proud enough that they want to show us their creation again, and again, and again. But how many conversations have you been in where somebody said, “Did you see what the Vikings did this time?”
I know a lot of ad junkies see these commercials perpetuated to see where the story goes. But to me, and I suspect to many people who watch commercials somewhat passively, if your commercial has no buzz appeal, then you’re wasting your money by drawing out a story and taking your characters further and further away from the brand.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
The Top 100 They Might Be Giants Songs of All Time
This list is aimed at the overlap between possibly the two smallest groups in the universe: people who can reocgnize a hundred They Might Be Giants songs and people who read my blog.
1. She’s an Angel
2. Destination Moon
3. Dinner Bell
4. Stalk of Wheat
5. Renew My Subscription
6. Finished With Lies (Mink Car version)
7. Birdhouse in Your Soul
8. Doctor Worm
9. 4 of 2
10. Broke in Two
11. Rhythm Section Want Ad
12. We’ve Got a World That Swings
13. Sensurround
14. Ana Ng
15. The House at the Top of the Tree
16. Mammal
17. Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal
18. Bangs
19. My Man
20. Reprehensible
21. Letterbox
22. Experimental Film
23. Asheville (The Orange Peel)
24. Dead
25. She was a Hotel Detective (Back to Skull)
26. Cyclops Rock
27. London (The Astoria)
28. Don’t Let’s Start
29. The Statue Got Me High
30. I Palindrome I
31. Welcome to the Jungle
32. Man, It’s So Loud in Here
33. Hollywood (West Hollywood House of Blues)
34. Flying V
35. Purple Toupee
36. No!
37. Where Your Eyes Don’t Go
38. Spine
39. Thunderbird
40. We Want a Rock
41. Finished With Lies (Live version)
42. Where Do They Make Balloons?
43. Hovering Sombrero
44. Monsters of Mud
45. Sleeping in the Flowers
46. Spiraling Shape
47. Bastard Wants to Hit Me
48. Another First Kiss
49. Sleepwalkers
50. Charleston (The Music Farm)
51. Till My Head Falls Off
52. Fun Assassin
53. Someone Keeps Moving My Chair
54. Memo to Human Resources
55. Fingertips
56. Lullaby to Nightmares
57. Metal Detector
58. Au Contraire
59. Austin (Stubb’s)
60. Feast of Lights
61. No One Knows My Plan
62. Towson (Recher Theatre)
63. My Evil Twin
64. D&W
65. It’s Not My Birthday
66. Damn Good Times
67. I Should Be Allowed to Think
68. They’ll Need a Crane
69. First Kiss
70. Subliminal
71. Drinking
72. Impossible
73. Rest Awhile
74. Why Does the Sun Shine? (The Sun is a Mass of Incandescent Gas) (Live version)
75. No Answer
76. Out of Jail
77. Museum of Idiots
78. We’re the Replacements
79. Meet James Ensor
80. Love is Eternity
81. Ant
82. Can You Find It?
83. Operators are Standing By
84. They Got Lost
85. All Alone
86. Nightgown of the Sullen Moon
87. Stormy Pinkness
88. Save Your Life
89. I am a Human Head
90. Am I Awake
91. Certain People I Could Name
92. New Haven (Toad’s Place)
93. On the Drag
94. Counterfeit Faker
95. Different Town
96. Your Racist Friend
97. The World’s Address
98. Columbia, SC (The Blue Note)
99. Courage the Cowardly Dog
100. Pittsburgh (Mr. Small’s Theatre)
1. She’s an Angel
2. Destination Moon
3. Dinner Bell
4. Stalk of Wheat
5. Renew My Subscription
6. Finished With Lies (Mink Car version)
7. Birdhouse in Your Soul
8. Doctor Worm
9. 4 of 2
10. Broke in Two
11. Rhythm Section Want Ad
12. We’ve Got a World That Swings
13. Sensurround
14. Ana Ng
15. The House at the Top of the Tree
16. Mammal
17. Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal
18. Bangs
19. My Man
20. Reprehensible
21. Letterbox
22. Experimental Film
23. Asheville (The Orange Peel)
24. Dead
25. She was a Hotel Detective (Back to Skull)
26. Cyclops Rock
27. London (The Astoria)
28. Don’t Let’s Start
29. The Statue Got Me High
30. I Palindrome I
31. Welcome to the Jungle
32. Man, It’s So Loud in Here
33. Hollywood (West Hollywood House of Blues)
34. Flying V
35. Purple Toupee
36. No!
37. Where Your Eyes Don’t Go
38. Spine
39. Thunderbird
40. We Want a Rock
41. Finished With Lies (Live version)
42. Where Do They Make Balloons?
43. Hovering Sombrero
44. Monsters of Mud
45. Sleeping in the Flowers
46. Spiraling Shape
47. Bastard Wants to Hit Me
48. Another First Kiss
49. Sleepwalkers
50. Charleston (The Music Farm)
51. Till My Head Falls Off
52. Fun Assassin
53. Someone Keeps Moving My Chair
54. Memo to Human Resources
55. Fingertips
56. Lullaby to Nightmares
57. Metal Detector
58. Au Contraire
59. Austin (Stubb’s)
60. Feast of Lights
61. No One Knows My Plan
62. Towson (Recher Theatre)
63. My Evil Twin
64. D&W
65. It’s Not My Birthday
66. Damn Good Times
67. I Should Be Allowed to Think
68. They’ll Need a Crane
69. First Kiss
70. Subliminal
71. Drinking
72. Impossible
73. Rest Awhile
74. Why Does the Sun Shine? (The Sun is a Mass of Incandescent Gas) (Live version)
75. No Answer
76. Out of Jail
77. Museum of Idiots
78. We’re the Replacements
79. Meet James Ensor
80. Love is Eternity
81. Ant
82. Can You Find It?
83. Operators are Standing By
84. They Got Lost
85. All Alone
86. Nightgown of the Sullen Moon
87. Stormy Pinkness
88. Save Your Life
89. I am a Human Head
90. Am I Awake
91. Certain People I Could Name
92. New Haven (Toad’s Place)
93. On the Drag
94. Counterfeit Faker
95. Different Town
96. Your Racist Friend
97. The World’s Address
98. Columbia, SC (The Blue Note)
99. Courage the Cowardly Dog
100. Pittsburgh (Mr. Small’s Theatre)
Saturday, August 20, 2005
The Top 50 Positions in Team Sports
1. Small forward (basketball)
2. Shortstop (baseball)
3. Center fielder (baseball)
4. Middle linebacker (football)
5. Shooting guard (basketball)
6. Quarterback (football)
7. Midfielder (soccer)
8. Point guard (basketball)
9. Left fielder (baseball)
10. Right wing (hockey)
11. Third baseman (baseball)
12. Goalie (soccer)
13. Free safety (football)
14. Starting pitcher (baseball)
15. Second baseman (baseball)
16. Outside linebacker (football)
17. Running back (football)
18. Kick/punt returner (football)
19. Power forward (basketball)
20. Tight end (football)
21. Center (hockey)
22. Center (basketball)
23. Fullback (football)
24. Right fielder (baseball)
25. Left wing (hockey)
26. Strong safety (football)
27. Wide receiver (football)
28. Defenseman (soccer)
29. Wedge breaker (football)
30. First baseman (baseball)
31. Defensive end (football)
32. Pinch hitter (baseball)
33. Defenseman (hockey)
34. Forward (soccer)
35. Pinch runner (baseball)
36. Closer (baseball)
37. Cornerback (football)
38. Defensive tackle (football)
39. Designated hitter (baseball)
40. Place kicker (football)
41. Middle reliever (baseball)
42. Goalie (hockey)
43. Offensive guard (football)
44. Punter (football)
45. Offensive tackle (football)
46. Long snapper (football)
47. Holder (football)
48. Goon (hockey)
49. Catcher (baseball)
50. Center (football)
Note: I've mixed some "behavioral" positions in with the regular ones where appropriate. You won't find "goon" or even "pinch runner" on a depth chart, but there are certain roles that need to be considered don't fit nicely into any one position.
2. Shortstop (baseball)
3. Center fielder (baseball)
4. Middle linebacker (football)
5. Shooting guard (basketball)
6. Quarterback (football)
7. Midfielder (soccer)
8. Point guard (basketball)
9. Left fielder (baseball)
10. Right wing (hockey)
11. Third baseman (baseball)
12. Goalie (soccer)
13. Free safety (football)
14. Starting pitcher (baseball)
15. Second baseman (baseball)
16. Outside linebacker (football)
17. Running back (football)
18. Kick/punt returner (football)
19. Power forward (basketball)
20. Tight end (football)
21. Center (hockey)
22. Center (basketball)
23. Fullback (football)
24. Right fielder (baseball)
25. Left wing (hockey)
26. Strong safety (football)
27. Wide receiver (football)
28. Defenseman (soccer)
29. Wedge breaker (football)
30. First baseman (baseball)
31. Defensive end (football)
32. Pinch hitter (baseball)
33. Defenseman (hockey)
34. Forward (soccer)
35. Pinch runner (baseball)
36. Closer (baseball)
37. Cornerback (football)
38. Defensive tackle (football)
39. Designated hitter (baseball)
40. Place kicker (football)
41. Middle reliever (baseball)
42. Goalie (hockey)
43. Offensive guard (football)
44. Punter (football)
45. Offensive tackle (football)
46. Long snapper (football)
47. Holder (football)
48. Goon (hockey)
49. Catcher (baseball)
50. Center (football)
Note: I've mixed some "behavioral" positions in with the regular ones where appropriate. You won't find "goon" or even "pinch runner" on a depth chart, but there are certain roles that need to be considered don't fit nicely into any one position.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Branding an Abduction Information Service
As I was watching a baseball game on Sunday, something crawled across the bottom of the screen that made me take notice immediately: Amber Alert! Ever since the Amber Alert was just a local Dallas warning system, I've grown accustomed to paying attention to the forthcoming information on an abducted child. Only this time there was no information. The scroll at the bottom of the screen was simply reporting the results of the AMBER Alert Portal Indy 300 at Kentucky Speedway.
This has to be a new step for a public service like the Amber Alert, and I'm not sure what to make of these types of organizations sponsoring things like sporting events. My initial reaction when I saw it was concern for the dilution of a phrase that is used only in very specific emergency situations. Like it or not, if every football game you watched featured the Flash Flood Warning Starting Lineups, the warning might lose some of its immediacy in an actual emergency.
On the other hand, the event was meant to coincide with Kentucky's rolling out an upgraded Amber Alert system, and as a public service it probably deserves more attention than whatever would have otherwise preceded the name of the event. But if they wish to pursue a course like this, those who "market" the Amber Alert should be careful. Services that subsist on the public's trust are quite different from soft drinks and SUVs: where consumer goods are concerned with gaining brand equity, a program like Amber Alert, which has already achieved collaboration between law enforcement, the media, and the public, might be more concerned with losing brand equity.
p.s. The Amber Alert was begun in the Dallas area, inspired by Amber Hagerman. When it was expanded nationally, some other cities protested that the inspirations for their local alert systems would be forgotten. So the government stepped in with an ingenious solution. I didn't realize this until just now, but the AMBER Alert is no longer named after Amber Hagerman. AMBER is an acronym standing for America's Missing: Broadcast Emergency Response.
This has to be a new step for a public service like the Amber Alert, and I'm not sure what to make of these types of organizations sponsoring things like sporting events. My initial reaction when I saw it was concern for the dilution of a phrase that is used only in very specific emergency situations. Like it or not, if every football game you watched featured the Flash Flood Warning Starting Lineups, the warning might lose some of its immediacy in an actual emergency.
On the other hand, the event was meant to coincide with Kentucky's rolling out an upgraded Amber Alert system, and as a public service it probably deserves more attention than whatever would have otherwise preceded the name of the event. But if they wish to pursue a course like this, those who "market" the Amber Alert should be careful. Services that subsist on the public's trust are quite different from soft drinks and SUVs: where consumer goods are concerned with gaining brand equity, a program like Amber Alert, which has already achieved collaboration between law enforcement, the media, and the public, might be more concerned with losing brand equity.
p.s. The Amber Alert was begun in the Dallas area, inspired by Amber Hagerman. When it was expanded nationally, some other cities protested that the inspirations for their local alert systems would be forgotten. So the government stepped in with an ingenious solution. I didn't realize this until just now, but the AMBER Alert is no longer named after Amber Hagerman. AMBER is an acronym standing for America's Missing: Broadcast Emergency Response.
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
The Top 35 BBQ Joints I’ve Eaten At
I realize that I'm missing some of the big spots like Rendezvous, but this still seems like a pretty good list. Where applicable, I've indicated some of what makes the place stand out.
1. John Mueller’s/JMueller (Austin, Texas) (I've been to both incarnations of this one, the building on Manor and the trailer on South First, which miraculously appeared six years after the brick-and-mortar restaurant vanished.)
2. Franklin (Austin, Texas) (It truly is the best brisket you'll ever have, but don't sleep on the pulled pork.)
3. Salt Lick (Driftwood, Texas) (bonus points for being the only place I've had my picture taken with Bevo, and for the family style all-you-can-eat dinner)
4. Rudy’s (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the creamed corn)
5. (tie) Corky’s (Memphis, Tennessee) (bonus points for best pork shoulder)
Arthur Bryant's (Kansas City, Kansas) (bonus points for the best sandwich and the most succinct ordering)
7. Sonny Bryan’s (Dallas, Texas) (bonus points for the school desks and best onion rings)
8. Meyer’s (Elgin, Texas) (bonus points for being halfway between Aggie football and Longhorn football, and for the best sausage)
9. Opie's (Spicewood, Texas)
10. Stubb’s (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the music)
11. McClard’s (Hot Springs, Arkansas) (bonus points for the tamales)
12. Luling City Market (Luling, Texas) (bonus points for being the first place I ate off butcher paper)
13. Public Eye (Memphis, Tennessee) (sympathy points for burning down)
14. Goode Company (Houston, Texas) (bonus points for jambalaya)
15. Penguin Ed’s B&B (Fayetteville, Arkansas) (bonus points for the sliced pork sandwiches)
16. Pig-N-Whistle (Memphis, Tennessee)
17. County Line (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the bread)
18. Spring Creek (Dallas, Texas) (bonus points for the rolls, cobbler, and ice cream)
19. Germantown Commissary (Germantown, Tennessee)
20. Ruby’s (Austin, Texas)
21. Whole Foods Market (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the habanero sausage)
22. Pok-e-Jo's (Austin, Texas)
23. Iron Works (Austin, Texas)
24. Kruez Market (Lockhart, Texas)
25. Railhead (Fort Worth, Texas)
26. Lambert's (Austin, Texas)
27. Famous Dave's (Wichita, Kansas) (bonus points for the regional sauces)
28. Southside Market (Elgin, Texas)
29. Little Richard's (Winston-Salem, North Carolina) (Tough to evaluate--the chopped pork was, in my opinion, subpar, but the ribs more than made up for it. Good hush puppies, too.)
30. Gridley’s (Memphis, Tennessee)
31. Swinging Door (Richmond, Texas)
32. Colter's (Fort Worth, Texas)
33. Jerry Mikeska's (Columbus, Texas)
34. Tom's (College Station, Texas)
35. Peter's (Ellinger, Texas)
1. John Mueller’s/JMueller (Austin, Texas) (I've been to both incarnations of this one, the building on Manor and the trailer on South First, which miraculously appeared six years after the brick-and-mortar restaurant vanished.)
2. Franklin (Austin, Texas) (It truly is the best brisket you'll ever have, but don't sleep on the pulled pork.)
3. Salt Lick (Driftwood, Texas) (bonus points for being the only place I've had my picture taken with Bevo, and for the family style all-you-can-eat dinner)
4. Rudy’s (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the creamed corn)
5. (tie) Corky’s (Memphis, Tennessee) (bonus points for best pork shoulder)
Arthur Bryant's (Kansas City, Kansas) (bonus points for the best sandwich and the most succinct ordering)
7. Sonny Bryan’s (Dallas, Texas) (bonus points for the school desks and best onion rings)
8. Meyer’s (Elgin, Texas) (bonus points for being halfway between Aggie football and Longhorn football, and for the best sausage)
9. Opie's (Spicewood, Texas)
10. Stubb’s (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the music)
11. McClard’s (Hot Springs, Arkansas) (bonus points for the tamales)
12. Luling City Market (Luling, Texas) (bonus points for being the first place I ate off butcher paper)
13. Public Eye (Memphis, Tennessee) (sympathy points for burning down)
14. Goode Company (Houston, Texas) (bonus points for jambalaya)
15. Penguin Ed’s B&B (Fayetteville, Arkansas) (bonus points for the sliced pork sandwiches)
16. Pig-N-Whistle (Memphis, Tennessee)
17. County Line (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the bread)
18. Spring Creek (Dallas, Texas) (bonus points for the rolls, cobbler, and ice cream)
19. Germantown Commissary (Germantown, Tennessee)
20. Ruby’s (Austin, Texas)
21. Whole Foods Market (Austin, Texas) (bonus points for the habanero sausage)
22. Pok-e-Jo's (Austin, Texas)
23. Iron Works (Austin, Texas)
24. Kruez Market (Lockhart, Texas)
25. Railhead (Fort Worth, Texas)
26. Lambert's (Austin, Texas)
27. Famous Dave's (Wichita, Kansas) (bonus points for the regional sauces)
28. Southside Market (Elgin, Texas)
29. Little Richard's (Winston-Salem, North Carolina) (Tough to evaluate--the chopped pork was, in my opinion, subpar, but the ribs more than made up for it. Good hush puppies, too.)
30. Gridley’s (Memphis, Tennessee)
31. Swinging Door (Richmond, Texas)
32. Colter's (Fort Worth, Texas)
33. Jerry Mikeska's (Columbus, Texas)
34. Tom's (College Station, Texas)
35. Peter's (Ellinger, Texas)
Wednesday, August 3, 2005
The Eternal Sunshine of the Disheveled Shoebox
This is a story about a new kind of sports activism.
Back in 2001, the story of young Greg "Toe" Nash was gaining a lot of attention among gullible sports junkies, which is to say that he was all the rage in Daniel Lauve's Texas apartment. At first, Toe Nash sounded a lot like Sidd Finch, the Mets' barefoot Zen fireballer whom George Plimpton created for Sports Illustrated as an April Fools joke. (If you haven't read the story of Sidd Finch, then stop whatever you're doing and read it.) But Toe Nash, as revealed by Peter Gammons, was for real. He was a 6'6", 215-pound Little League phenom who had quit school and disappeared into the cane fields of Louisiana. When some scouts came to look at him, he hit monster homers from both sides of the plate and showcased his 95 mph fastball and drop-off-the-table curve. Once scouts from other teams had seen him, they spread the word that they had seen the next Babe Ruth. His talents were so good that his seventh-grade education and fear of civilization were seen as minor problems to be worked out.
Also in 2001, a newly-elected George W. Bush lowered the bottom marginal tax rate, giving me an extra $300 to play with. For some reason, I found myself in a place I hadn't been in several years: a baseball card shop, talking with the owner about her encounters with Stan Musial, Ozzie Smith, Willie McGee, and others. I decided to spend some of my rebate money on some baseball cards: $25 on an Albert Pujols rookie card, $1 on a Stan Musial/Mark McGwire card (the woman asked me if I was buying the card because of McGwire, and I said, "No, Musial," which prompted her trip down memory lane), and a few dollars on a Tampa Bay Devil Rays Toe Nash rookie card.
The Toe Nash card found its place at the bottom of some box and stayed there until the next year, when Toe's name came up once again. This time, he was arrested for aggravated rape of a 15-year-old girl. He pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of sex with a minor and spent eight months in prison. When I learned of the seriousness and credibility of the charges, I tore the baseball card in half and threw it in the trash.*
There was something very gratifying about disposing of that card. You've gotta understand that for a certain type of guy from a certain era (which has unfortunately passed), the baseball card is like a player's identity captured on cardboard. As funny as it may sound, when I threw away that card, I felt like I was erasing Toe Nash from baseball history.
As nice as that one act was, it was still just a single, solitary act. I wonder what would happen if a) many people had done what I did and b) the player for whom the "message" was intended actually received the message.
Imagine a prominent player, let's say Rafael Palmeiro, arriving at the clubhouse to find a huge sack of mail right next to his locker. He opens it, and out spill a few thousand cards bearing his image, sent in by thousands of fans who don't like the feeling they get in the pit of their stomach when they see Raffy's cards next to those of players they still respect and admire.
For a certain type of sports fan, I think this is a very powerful image. As an adult, I can accept that we speak logically about what Palmeiro did wrong and how MLB should respond, but that doesn't satisfy the 9-year-old in me. That kid can still tell you exactly what Raffy's 1987 Topps "Future Stars" card looks like (even though I haven't seen it in a few years and can't dig it up right now--it's in storage) and has an emotional reaction to the steroid controversy that's not satisfied by 10-game suspensions.
I'm proposing a very public, impactful, and cathartic form of sports activism. Every time a player is shown to have used steroids, he has his baseball cards returned to him from every fan who can't stand possessing them. And if I'm a young player a few lockers down from Rafael Palmeiro, that sight would send a much stronger message than anything I would see from Major League Baseball, or from the players' union, or in the media.
*Having gone back and looked at the current version of the Toe Nash story, I wonder whether I was justified in tearing up the baseball card. Nash claims that he and the girl had consensual sex, and the girl has established a record of inventing rape charges. Hopefully Nash, who was dropped by the Devil Rays, picked up by the Reds, and dropped by the Reds after an arrest for assault, can turn things around, though his baseball life is almost certainly over.
Back in 2001, the story of young Greg "Toe" Nash was gaining a lot of attention among gullible sports junkies, which is to say that he was all the rage in Daniel Lauve's Texas apartment. At first, Toe Nash sounded a lot like Sidd Finch, the Mets' barefoot Zen fireballer whom George Plimpton created for Sports Illustrated as an April Fools joke. (If you haven't read the story of Sidd Finch, then stop whatever you're doing and read it.) But Toe Nash, as revealed by Peter Gammons, was for real. He was a 6'6", 215-pound Little League phenom who had quit school and disappeared into the cane fields of Louisiana. When some scouts came to look at him, he hit monster homers from both sides of the plate and showcased his 95 mph fastball and drop-off-the-table curve. Once scouts from other teams had seen him, they spread the word that they had seen the next Babe Ruth. His talents were so good that his seventh-grade education and fear of civilization were seen as minor problems to be worked out.
Also in 2001, a newly-elected George W. Bush lowered the bottom marginal tax rate, giving me an extra $300 to play with. For some reason, I found myself in a place I hadn't been in several years: a baseball card shop, talking with the owner about her encounters with Stan Musial, Ozzie Smith, Willie McGee, and others. I decided to spend some of my rebate money on some baseball cards: $25 on an Albert Pujols rookie card, $1 on a Stan Musial/Mark McGwire card (the woman asked me if I was buying the card because of McGwire, and I said, "No, Musial," which prompted her trip down memory lane), and a few dollars on a Tampa Bay Devil Rays Toe Nash rookie card.
The Toe Nash card found its place at the bottom of some box and stayed there until the next year, when Toe's name came up once again. This time, he was arrested for aggravated rape of a 15-year-old girl. He pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of sex with a minor and spent eight months in prison. When I learned of the seriousness and credibility of the charges, I tore the baseball card in half and threw it in the trash.*
There was something very gratifying about disposing of that card. You've gotta understand that for a certain type of guy from a certain era (which has unfortunately passed), the baseball card is like a player's identity captured on cardboard. As funny as it may sound, when I threw away that card, I felt like I was erasing Toe Nash from baseball history.
As nice as that one act was, it was still just a single, solitary act. I wonder what would happen if a) many people had done what I did and b) the player for whom the "message" was intended actually received the message.
Imagine a prominent player, let's say Rafael Palmeiro, arriving at the clubhouse to find a huge sack of mail right next to his locker. He opens it, and out spill a few thousand cards bearing his image, sent in by thousands of fans who don't like the feeling they get in the pit of their stomach when they see Raffy's cards next to those of players they still respect and admire.
For a certain type of sports fan, I think this is a very powerful image. As an adult, I can accept that we speak logically about what Palmeiro did wrong and how MLB should respond, but that doesn't satisfy the 9-year-old in me. That kid can still tell you exactly what Raffy's 1987 Topps "Future Stars" card looks like (even though I haven't seen it in a few years and can't dig it up right now--it's in storage) and has an emotional reaction to the steroid controversy that's not satisfied by 10-game suspensions.
I'm proposing a very public, impactful, and cathartic form of sports activism. Every time a player is shown to have used steroids, he has his baseball cards returned to him from every fan who can't stand possessing them. And if I'm a young player a few lockers down from Rafael Palmeiro, that sight would send a much stronger message than anything I would see from Major League Baseball, or from the players' union, or in the media.
*Having gone back and looked at the current version of the Toe Nash story, I wonder whether I was justified in tearing up the baseball card. Nash claims that he and the girl had consensual sex, and the girl has established a record of inventing rape charges. Hopefully Nash, who was dropped by the Devil Rays, picked up by the Reds, and dropped by the Reds after an arrest for assault, can turn things around, though his baseball life is almost certainly over.
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