Okay, so there's this hierarchy of commercials. The laws of marketing dictate that even between the most useful product in the world and the most willing consumer in the world, commercials provide a vehicle for, often artificially, regulating the distance between consumer and consumable. And whether a commercial is something that you look forward to or an annoyance that poisions the time it takes you to reach for the TiVo remote, the truth is that the hierarchy of commercials plays a big role in how jazzed you are about stuff you may or may not even like. So here goes:
Level 1: Commercials that inspire mass product returns, boycotts, and even protests. Crosses: good. Fire: good. Madonna: ehh... but put the three together, and you get something that didn't make a lot of people very fond of Pepsi.
Level 2: Commercials that make you not want to buy something. Some people liked them, but for many people, the Quiznos "spongemonkeys" had a certain "eewww" factor, and those people, when they were hungry for a sub sandwich and came upon a Quiznos, would keep on driving until they got to a Subway.
Level 3: Commercials that keep you indifferent. "Taco Bell has a new product? It's got carne asada and some kind of tangy mayo concoction? Great...when's the ballgame on?"
Level 4: Commercials that make you interested. The teaser trailer for that movie you may or may not see in six months didn't get you making plans to go see it, but it got the seed planted in your brain. That's level 4.
Level 5: Commercials that inspire purchase intention. I don't have enough money to get every DVD that comes out on the market. But when I can, I'm totally getting the Seinfeld Seasons 5 & 6 that comes with the handwritten script and all the special features.
Level 6: Commercials that make you go out and get something. If you like music, and if you have a particular fondness for U2, and you weren't in the Apple store ten minutes after seeing the U2 iPod commercial, then you don't have a pulse.
And for a long time, at least for me, that was the list. But a couple weeks ago a commercial came along that changed everything.
Back in October of 2000, things were pretty good. I was experiencing the dizzying heights of the mania known as eBay Addiction. I had purchased numerous LPs, a couple Willie McGee jerseys, and some out-of-print books, and, not to brag, my feedback score was skyrocketing. There's been a certain ebb and flow to my eBay usage since, but I've never stayed away for long.
When the "Daydream Believer" commercials came out, I absolutely loved them. The commercials called to mind a feeling that lots of people have toward eBay, and the song, plus the imagery of getting "it," whatever "it" is, caused me to do something I didn't think was possible. I love the commercial so much I've had to invent Level 7.
Level 7: Commercials that make you want to give your money directly to the company. Go ahead, eBay. You can have it. Take whatever you want. Seriously. I don't even want anything in return. Not the Traveling Wilburys CD, the Simpsons cel with certificate of authenticity, the life-size Han Solo in carbonite, or the Beatles' Yesterday and Today LP with the butcher cover. Not even the powder blue Lance Alworth jersey. The perfect marriage of product and message has shot you straight to the top of the advertising hierarchy, and as a result I just want to give you my money. That's how much I love your latest commercial.
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